courageous

I.

if i were courageous,

i’d allow the weight of my heart to roll out of my mouth

onto the plush pinkness of my tongue,

to flatten it smooth with luscious memories of what was

thrown together with the risky hopes of what could have been.

if i were brave i would call you up

letting crocodile tears rush down my face in hot, unplanned frenzies

while i tell you all the ways i love you and can’t stop thinking about you.

but.

now isn’t the time.